Conflict is inevitable. As humans, we engage it as a matter of course. While many of us run away from it at all costs, others seem to thrive on it. We all handle conflict differently. What kinds of behaviors are your default during conflict? Do you retreat or run away? Get sharp-tongued? Use passive aggressive techniques to battle with others?
When we apply the lens of DiSC to conflictual situations, certain patterns emerge for each of the various styles. Understanding the ways that unhealthy behavioral patterns manifest for each of us is important to note; only then can we act to change our unhealthy behaviors and create more healthy and productive conflict. Here’s a breakdown of how the various DiSC styles behave in conflict, in general.
| Unhealthy Conflict Behaviors | Healthy Conflict Behaviors | |
| D | Overpowers and gets aggressive, digs heels in, says things they regret | Addresses issues head on, speaks about problems, and sticks up for their own rights |
| i | Becomes overly dramatic, glosses over problems, says things they regret | Expresses feelings, seeks emotional support, addresses issues head-on |
| S | Doesn’t speak up about own needs, retreats from conflict, glosses over problems | Listens to others’ perspectives, encourages a calm demeanor, seeks emotional support when necessary |
| C | Overpowers with logic and facts, retreats from conflict, digs in heels | Focuses on logic and objectivity, encourages a calm demeanor, sticks up for own rights |
Like it or not, we all have certain behaviors that we’d probably rather not own. While it would be nice to keep those behaviors under wraps and not expose them to ourselves or others, gaining an awareness of how we show up in conflict creates greater self-awareness which, in turn, helps us build stronger relationships with others—especially those with whom we work. How might you use the information about the styles above to create stronger relationships with your colleagues?
Curious about your DiSC style and what it might be? Read my blog post about how to guesstimate your style (and the style of others, too!).
Gee – both of mine say “says things she regrets”…I don’t recognize that at all!
You’re amazing!