Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. That’s why it loves perfectionists — it’s so easy to keep us quiet. If we cultivate enough awareness about shame to name it and to speak it, we’ve basically cut it off at the knees. Shame hates having words wrapped around it. If we speak shame, it begins to wither. Just the way exposure to light was deadly for the gremlins, language and story bring light to shame and destroy it. –Brene Brown
I don’t know about you, but I’ve come a long way to believing that SHAME is a useless emotion. While Guilt, Shame’s ugly cousin, may provide some value as a behavior modificatory, shame is nothing more than an indictment of our BEING. I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve felt shame in my life, from missing a kick at the ball in 3rd grade only to wind up in a puddle of mud (Shame Gremlin: YOU ARE WORTHLESS), to the shame I felt around seeing a therapist for drinking too much, too often (Shame Gremlin: YOU ARE A NO GOOD MOTHER, FAILURE,+ FRAUD), to the shame I endured most of my life for being “chunky” (Shame Gremlin: SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE AREN’T FAT, MS. PIGGY). But what I’ve come to learn from these Shame Gremlins is this: when I expose them, when I talk about them, they begin to lose their luster. They begin to shrink. They fade away. And what is left is one gloriously STRONG, RESILIENT, CREATIVE, and POWERFUL SPIRIT! What is left is my essence, my inner beauty, and my light — ME.
One of the most powerful ways I’ve come to learn about the SHAME GREMLINS in my life (and how to handle these little suckers) is through the power of DOODLING. When I first started doodling, I didn’t know WHAT I was doing. I certainly was not practiced in creativity, and I did not consider myself any kind of an artist. But I did know that I liked taking notes and exploring my thoughts in a very right-brain way, full of a rainbow of color and on a big, 11×14 piece of paper!
In my upcoming doodle course, Manifestation with Markers: The Sacred Self, I’m going to spend A LOT of time traversing the SHAME terrain, and I invite you to join me — wholeheartedly — as we explore together, shining the light on the SHAME GREMLINS so we can begin to shrink them and the role they play in our lives. The impact is profound: FREEDOM, RELEASE, and POWER like you’ve NEVER felt it before. STOP letting the SHAME GREMLINS run your life–it simply hurts too much when you do and there IS another, a better way.
PS. The black book pictured here is an art journal that belongs to my dear, dear friend, Jill. Jill is an amazing sculpture artist, and she passed this along to me saying “Your doodling self will really enjoy this.” Thank you, Jill. You are an inspiration! I hope to inspire others like you’ve inspired me! xoxo
